I am so ....
I don't know what I am.
My mom called me this morning to let me know that she heard over the radio that my brother and 6 of his loser friends were arrested this morning. In connection with 64 burglaries, 4 arsons, and shooting a horse.
We are a small community. Farmland, really. These incidents have been headline news for many months now. BIG headline news.
And it was my brother. Allegedly.
Admittedly, my brother and his 'friends' are complete losers. They did manage to finish high school, but there biggest accomplishment since is managing to keep the part time job at Subway. I know he was under age drinking, smoking cigarettes, smoking pot and a bunch of other really stupid 'teen' stuff. I have never seen it, but I have been told. Apparently he would also binge on quarts of vodka at a time until he would black out, on a regular basis.
Really, if he is in trouble for anything it is because he deserves it.
I haven't talked to him in a while, so it isn't like we are close. Actually when my mom told me I laughed out loud. HARD. Kind of like, that figures.
So why is this affecting me?
Why can't I stop drinking coffee?
Why am I compulsively scrubbing the house down?
I have also thought that I am lucky he didn't rob me and burn MY house down. Him and some of his 'friends' have stopped by unannounced. And like I said we are a small community. People aren't careful to lock up or anything like that. What if they were casing my house out? I wouldn't put ANYTHING passed him. What if it was my house that burnt??
OMG. I feel like someone has died and you go through a hundred emotions in a couple hours. And none of them make sense.
I have the overwhelming urge to tell someone. To call someone and just tell them. But I am trying so hard not to. To be bigger and not gossip, because really all I know is that he has been arrested in connection with this stuff. I guess this is my best outlet to tell.
I need...
I don't know what I need.
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6 comments:
I'm so sorry. Family dysfunction can just suck the life out of a person. I should know, my parents did it for way to long. Vent away, that's what we are here for.
*hugs*
Wish I could give you a big hug in person. It's affecting you because he is family. Even when they're asshats, family is family somehow (with some exceptions, of course). I'm so sorry you're going through this, and hope you're able to process it quickly. How's your mom handling it?
Oh goodness. Lots of hugs to you. Glad he didn't chose your house.
What the!!!!! That's so crazy and sad. I'm so glad your house wasn't affected. Please keep us posted on this one. Wow. :(
Oh no! I'm so sorry your brother is allegedly accused of this. I know why it's totally affecting you. He's your brother, you wouldn't be human if it didn't affect you in any way.
Yikes, hope it wasn't him after all.
Venting is always good. I had a step brother that antics were so very embarrassing. It is hard to deal. Hope it all turns out ok and you can find a way to balance it all.
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