Wednesday, November 22, 2006

The one with guilt

I felt so very, very guilty today. I called the neighbor over to baby sit while I ran to the mall. It was no big deal. She was happy to do it. I was so terribly afraid that if I took Mark he would wonder off. He is getting into his terrible twos, and is always testing me.

It felt like the first time I left Mark with a babysitter. He was 4 months. It was only Grandma. I had a dental appointment for crying out loud.

Why can't I just let it go? Why do I always feel like I have put other people out when I ask them to watch my kids? Why does it make me feel like I am not good enough as a mommy just because I needed to ask for help with something so small?

Do you ever feel that way?


Self Proclaimed Supermom said...

Don't feel guilty even one little bit. You need some you time too :)

Devra said...

Unless you used blackmail or extortion to get your neighbor to watch your child, then absolve yourself of any guilt. Did you cast a magical spell? Voodoo? If none of those things apply, then I think you are safe to absolve yourself of the guilt.

How about reframing it? For example you could decide "I definitely saved Mark from a possible stranger abduction by asking my neighbor to watch him when I was not able to do so." or "I must remember I asked my neighbor to watch my son for a short period of time, I did not ask her to take permanent custody and grant me visitation rights."

Would either of those work to absolve you of that nagging guilt? We gotta be easier on ourselves, because bottom line, we are doing our best to be decent parents, so try not to beat yourself up! You are doing a great job as a mom!

Momma Bee said...

Oh honey, I do know that guilt, all too well, but pleeeease don't feel guilty about this. You need to give yourself a break! I like devra's reframing...hope it helps!

Marz said...

I, so, know what you mean. I even feel like that with family. My mom watches Nate every day but I feel better about it because I pay her but when it comes to asking my mother in law or someone else, I feel like I will inconvenience them, so I don't.

Melany aka Supermom said...

I think us moms are born with guilt. Don't feel guilty though. You are taken care of his security. If you are worried that he will run away, then you are doing the right thing!

Glamorous Redneck said...

I think it's the mommy curse. We know we just need a break, and yet the second we get the break, we are instantly guilt-ridden and just need to hurry up and get home to our preshus baybees! lol

But try not to feel guilty. The way I explain it to my kids (because yes, they give me GUILT TRIPS) is that it benefits all of us when mommy gets a little break. I come home refreshed and ready for round eighty seven of "Just brush your teeth and get in bed for the love of all things holy" and y'all get a day to remember that Mommy isn't as bad as you would like to think she is. lol

scribbit said...

Yup, I hate asking people to watch the kids, not because I feel like a bad mom though, but because I don't like to inconvenience people.