Friday, March 31, 2006

Rain and Pretend and Firefox and HTML and Web Design and my Hubby and Spam

It is a bleak rainy day today. Dark and drizzly. I kind of enjoy it though. I decided to just get dressed in flannel PJ bottoms and a sweatshirt. Rather lazy of me, actually. I have lamps on during the day, which gives a wierd effect. It is a good day for soup, coffee and tea. Warm things in mugs. We did get a thunderstorm, but I was so disappointed. I wanted to at least see some lightning. It didn't start until after we had gone to bed and I was dozing off. Oh, well. I am sure that there will be more. We live in wierd pocket of a valley next to the Wisconsin River. People who live in the mountains would be so offended I said that. It is really just spot between 2 hills where the river flows. But anyway, we get more severe weather through here than 20 miles north or 20 miles south. There actually was a tornado that touched down across the street and took out an old barn about 4 or 5 years ago.

Mark is still being very good. He has learned how to (or at least I have finally noticed that he is) playing pretend. He walks around holding his play phone to his ear and has long discussions with someone else. It is so cute. He actually babbles for a while, then waits a few seconds, and babbles some more. I think that he is 'talking' to daddy because 1) everytime we try to get him to talk on the real phone it is to daddy and 2) when he 'talks' for pretend he goes to the patio doors and looks out. The only reasons that he plants himself there are to watch snow (no more snow!), watch birds (at which time he inevitably cries 'Woof!'), or look for daddy coming home. He has in general been more playful recently. He is so cute to watch.

Most everything that I have tried to do today, I just end up banging my head against the wall. Alot of little things. The only one that comes to mind, mostly because it is puzzling me, is Firefox. I have decided to go ahead and download it and give it a try. The download went fine. But when I double clicked it to install, I got an error message. I thought after a few tries that maybe something went wrong with the download, so I just deleted the .exe file and redownloaded it. Still it won't install. I get a message titled 7-zip and says unspecified error. How am I supposed to know what to fix if it is unspecified? I tried to look-up help in the Monzilla forums and FAQs but nothing so far. No big deal I guess. I will either figure it out and try Firefox or just give up and keep using IE.

I really like one of the books I got yesterday from the library. "HTML for the World Wide Web with XHTML and CSS, 5th edition" by Elizabeth Castro. I hope that you didn't fall asleep reading the title. But the book reads like a school text. Easy and basic. Any one with a brain can figure it out. Well, that includes me half the time. I figure that if I take it page by page, it should be simple enough. I am already learning alot that I had no idea about. And I am on page 20. The Bravenet tutorials that I was trying to use just kept turning me in circles.

Gabriel and I had a nice chat last night with the TV off. We haven't just visited in a long time. It seems wierd to 'visit' with your husband. It was kind of like when we were dating. Just rambling about whatever. Once upon a time before we had Mark, I said something about maybe doing Web design from home. It kind of fell away with being pregnant and not having any training or knowledge about programming and design. With my renewed interest in HTML and my stronger determination to learn it, Gabriel dusted off the thought of Web design. I must confess that I do think about it. It wouldn't be a big money maker or anything, like a hobby with a profit. But I try to keep it in check until I actually have the ametuer ability to do something about it. As a teen I was friends with a women who was a busy as heck SAHM that did Web design from her home. I remember being so jealous because I wanted to be able to do what she did. Maybe I can. I am very good at teaching myself. I was homeschooled and have a very good abilty to learn straight out of a book without needing someone to led me by the hand.

Ugh, I had spam in my tag box this morning. Only 3 messages and I deleted them right away. But if I have a huge problem with spam like at Bravenet then I am just going to take down my tagboard. I am not going to put up with deleting a hundred spams every morning. I do that already with my e-mail.


Thursday, March 30, 2006

Unfriggin' Believable

You can go to How Much Is My Blog Worth? to find out in a dollar amount how popular your blog is. Expressions of Love at blogspot came up as a big goose egg. $0. What, how? *pouting* *GIANT fat lip*

But get this. Expressions of Love at Bravenet came up as worth $564.54! $564.65 and it is a closed blog. I haven't decided if I am going to delete it or not.

So how much is your blog worth?

Doing my Happy Dance.

Mark was such a doll today. I am just starry eyed in love with him. We went shopping and by the time we got into town, parked, and started walking toward the entrance, I remembered that I left my shopping list on the counter at home. :l Yes, I did. So we had to go all the way back, because there is no way I could finish my errands without my list. I am on a $50 a week budget. Squeaky clean. So I comb the ads and figure out what we need for the week plus what we should stock up on, and I make a very exact list of where to go for what. Without my list I am lost. (See yesterday's post) I forget half the things that I need and end up buying stuff that isn't budgeted thus spending too much.

Anyway, we got the list and went back into town. But I was in a good mood anyway. It is warm and beautiful outside, even if it is overcast. It smells like spring. We are supposed to hit 60 today and get our first thunderstorm tonight.

When we got to the grocery store, Mark behaved so well. I didn't have to carry him at all. He walked with me whenever he wasn't in a cart. He held my hand when I told him to. He didn't wonder off when he needed to stand beside me. When he was in the cart, he sat nicely and either quietly looked around or told me stories about the things he was seeing.

We went to the library also today and Mark was just as well behaved there. Whose kid is this? I picked up 3 books that I had reserved. One is on HTML, one is on CSS, and one is titled "Teach Yourself to Create Web Pages in 24 Hours". Hehe, that sounded like THE book for me. I paged through it as I was waiting for the internet to dial-up. I was slightly deflated to find out that it is teaching how to use Netscape Communitcator. *sigh* While that is all fine and good, I want to learn how to create a page with bare bones coding with Notepad. And I don't want to use Netscape as a browser. If anything I am a hair's length away from downloading FireFox. I was wondering for all those who do make their own templates, do you use a text editor like Notepad or do you use a program like Dream Weaver or Netscape Communicator? There was a CD included so that you could install Netscape. There were supposed to be some graphics to play with also on the CD, so I threw it in to download those. The CD actually has a whole bunch of other programs including...are you ready for this?... Paint Shop Pro 5.0. No. Shit. :O I know that it is only 5.0, but the most that you can download for free of the internet is a 15 day trial version of 6.0. Yee Haw. Doing my happy dance. Be glad you aren't here watching.
~* ~ Note. After posting, I checked out the PSP. It is only a 30 trial. Psssssssssssss. There I go around the room like a balloon. Oh well. ~*~

Gabriel has some overtime now, so he has to work 6-6:30. At least he is in town with only a 5 minute commute. I wasn't real thrilled about it but the paychecks will be bigger. So we are back to getting up at 5:30. That whole sleeping in until 6:30 was fun for the 2 days that it lasted.

I have a prenatal appointment this afternoon. We were seen 2 weeks ago, so I don't know why she wanted us to come in so soon. That reminds me. I have to get a pee sample together or those nurses get POed at you. I hope that Mark is as happy this afternoon because will daddy working, so it will be just us two. We also have to stop at Target while we are out by the clinic.


Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Whose brain did you get? Why, Abby's. Abby Normal's.

My baby brain has officially kicked into high gear. My apologies to all those reading this blog who walk away thinking, 'what the heck?'. *sigh* My brain is swimming in a fog that won't clear. It goes something like this:

Stage 1: You are talking normally to someone when you stop and realize that the thought driving your speech is gone. Midsentence. Usually I have nothing else to say except, "What were we talking about?"

Stage 2: You can actually remember the topic and line of thought but entire words and phrases have been deleted from memory.
ME: Mark did such and such today. He was so cute. He acted grown up. It was just so................... Um. Um. Um. What is the word? You know when someone does something you really like?
HIM: Helpful?
ME: No. It begins with a vowel.
HIM: Exciting?
ME: No. It sounds kinda like acruable but it isn't acruable.
At which point I forget the sentence that the word-on-the-tip-of-my-tongue was supposed to be in. Until 3 hours later...
ME: Adorable!
HIM: What?
ME: Mark is adorable.
HIM: Of course he is. (Slightly confused)

Stage 3: There is no more organization in my thoughts. The file cabinet that is my brain has been ransacked and the folders are strewn about. Hey! There are the lyrics for "Boot Scootin' Boogie".

Stage 4: Accompanying the lack of brain function is lack of... What was I talking about again?

Stage 5: You feel like you are on double doses of Benadryll.

Stage 6: Things totally make sense in my mind, but take a detour through the blender before hitting my mouth.
ME (thinking): I can't wait for Spring. I want to plant flowers so badly. I want everything to be fresh and green.
ME (talking): What time is Spring? Lets go plant flowers green now so it's fresh.

Stage 7: I stutter and stumble over words. I mispronounce things. I use the wrong words in the wrong places. I misspell things. Be very glad that Blogger has spell check.

Stage 8: I walk downstairs into the basement pantry and think, "Why am I in the pantry?". When I get back upstairs, I remember that I was getting a can of soup. After I get the can of soup and heat it up, I remember that I needed to throw the laundry in the drier and the soup was a secondary reason to go downstairs.

Stage 9: You watch the morning news and the afternoon news and the evening news and the late news solely for the purpose of finding out what day it is.

Stage 10: Pray for the delivery date to hurry up. At least then you can't remember anything from a lack of sleep and food. Not from a lack of higher brain function.

All of the above is true and have actually happened and/or are happening to me. Just ask my husband, the poor guy. He has to live with a toddler and me.


Tuesday, March 28, 2006

She's Funny That Way Part 2

Ok, so my second nomination for the contest is MammaWannabe. She is a newbie blogger and a newbie SAHM. So everyone Yay for her! She has only been blogging for a month now and has posts like To the men in my house...

"Today, while cleaning the home that you occupy (with me), I had the immeasurably pleasurable task of cleaning up your pee.
While I enjoy my newfound job as the "Chief Cook & Bottlewasher/Chauffer/Laundry Do-er", I do NOT, repeat, DO NOT have a fondness for scrubbing your pee from every surface of every toilet in this house.
With this in mind, let me introduce a sub-section of instructions for you to follow:
a) lift seat
b) commence piss disbursement
c) put seat back into position you found it
d) WASH YOUR FLIPPING HANDS! (Another irritant I will discuss with you later)"

I read this post the other day and thought it was so funny that I was going to do a traceback to it anyway. Nominating her just gives me an excuse. So, again, go forth, visit, and say "Stephanie said to read this post because it would make me LMAO and I think that it is really funny also."

She's Funny That Way Part 1

So I mentioned that Generation Xhausted was hosting a contest and there were a couple of great gals that never fail to make me LMAO. Thus I present to you nominee #1. You can call her Wenchy.

Da Wench always makes everything that is bleak and unhappy, funny and something to talk about. If you haven't visited her yet, GO. Do so right now. Well, I guess you can finish reading this first. Like today's post was all her funeral wishes.

" life support for me either. Pull the plug. Let me go. Don't let me hang around looking unsexy with a pipe in my mouth only to wake up and not remember who you are. I can't laugh with things in my mouth anyway. ashes are to be scattered in Africa at the Uvongo lagoon where the waters are forever deep. Knowing me the wind will blow wildly so please do breathe through your mouth unless you wanna inhale some of me.
If I die at the side of the road, feel free to put flowers. If I can make a wee request.. yellow roses and sunflowers. A statue of rememberance would also be acceptable. Basically be very morbid and depressed.
...please do be very sad. Perhaps colour co-ordinated tissues may be handed out. I like that sorta thing."

She truely does bring out the best in things and makes me smile everyday. That is why I wanted to nominate her.

I think that I am a groupie

I checked out the 4 recommended sites yesterday. I added one to my blogroll and went bloghopping from there. In my wonderings I came upon Mom With More, who actually is the free lance writer who wrote said Baby Talk article! What are the odds?

Spring is coming! Spring is coming! We are now pushing our way to almost 50 during the day. Almost all the snow is gone. Except for that one snow pile that never sees that sun and doesn't melt until June. Yeah, you know the one. Yesterday I took a walk around the house and we have patches of bright green grass showing. Also my irises, chives, and rhubarb are poking their heads out! See! Mother Nature wants it to be spring. Why can't the weather oblige?

Yesterday was also laundry day. I actually finished it all in one day! From sorting to folding. It was only 4 loads, but still! hehe, we were upstairs in the back bedroom and I asked Mark if he wanted to go in the basement and help me do laundry. He said"Yes!" (he just learned how to say yes) and ran to the door to the basement where he waited for me to catch up. He understands more than I gave him credit for!

Last night I worked on my coding. I made a very simple and basic layout. You can see it here. Please, please, please take a look and let me know what you think!! It doesn't have any color or images. Very blan. Very vanilla. But it showed up!

There is a contest going on for the funniest blogging gal out there. Generation Xhausted is hosting it.
"Here's how it's going to work:
- Pick your favourite Funny Girl and write a blog post telling your readers who she is and why you think the gal's a hoot. Your post should include a link to her blog and a link to
Tales From Generation Xhausted, so others know how to enter She's Funny That Way.
- Got more than one favourite funny gal? Write a separate post for each one.
- Send me an
email, or leave a comment with a link to your post(s). I'll list your links here throughout the week, so others can find you and your Funny Girl."
There are even prizes. I am not going to ask any one to nominate me, but I wouldn't mind! Later this afternoon I am going to post my nominees. So look for your name! If you have nominations do them quickly! Entrees must be in as comments or e-mails to Generation Xhausted by the evening of Friday March 31.

I leave you with some pics of Mark. We were trying to get a current pic to print and he didn't want to pose! TTFN

Monday, March 27, 2006

Bloggin' Mommies

I googled myself this morning. I did it mainly to check my on-line privacy. I never worried too much about it but recently it has. Just a thought pecking away at my brain. What if, what if, what if. Mostly I guess, I just don't want anyone I personally know (except my hubby) to be reading this. Especially family. Once upon a time, or at least 3 years ago, is when I started blogging with Bravenet. I didn't realize that the personal info that I filled out ended up in my profile. So my first and last name did float around for awhile. But once I changed that, most of the links and other things with my full name on them changed as well. And I am pulling the link to my blog off Daniel's Angel Site, because family do occasionally visit there. Also I pulled the city I lived in off my profile. Not that I haven't mentioned these things in posts, so they still are linked, unless I delete my old blog. It will just make googling me a little harder, hopefully. Do you think that I should delete my old blog? I don't use it anymore and the only reason that it is open yet is for archives. Am I over reacting? Is it that big of an issue?

Also, googling my name just proved that there aren't any other Stephanie *****'s on the web and that I am that boring.
Now to what I have been waiting to post about all weekend. I got my April Baby Talk magazine Saturday. One of their cover stories was about mommy blogs. All about how popular they are and how they are keeping moms sane. It was quite interesting. Read it here. For me, blogging is a release. Here I can say whatever I want about whatever I want. But more so I do it for the friends. I don't have any friends currently in real life, besides my hubby and family. And being a SAHM doesn't provide me with a lot of opportunities to meet some. Plus I hate trying to find new friends. I feel so awkward. When we go places like story time at the library, all the moms have their own cliques and I end up feeling like background scenery. And having a playdate with some one you just met is just like dating. If you can't stand that person, how do you end the playdates? Basically if you don't click as close friends and are just 'friends', then you have this whole relationship to dance around and keep up. The whole point of this was to reduce stress.

BUT, with my blog I have found my ever so wonderful on-line friends. It is so much easier to "shop" for friends by bloghopping. And with just chatting a few times, you can make close low-maintenance friendships that mean the world to you. I can visit whenever I want from the privacy of my home. I don't have to drag an over-tired toddler to a playdate or get my house clean because some one is coming over. And it is SO nice to talk to other adults on a regular basis. Blogging is MY thing. It isn't about my kids or my husband. It is 100% mine. And that is a good feeling too. What else is mine in life? I don't know, my collection of wornout t-shirts? My colletion of 100-200 coupons?

The article also named four mommy blogs as favorites. They are:
I plan to check them out as soon as I finish posting this. While I was doing my visiting and reading this morning, I found that Life in Mamaland had a post very similar to mine. She had this meme which I decided to answer:
1. Do you blog to make friends with people you will eventually meet in real life? Probably not. Most of my blogroll are people in other countries. Some people create their blogs as a way to communicate with Family, but not me. Half of my ranting is either about family or things that I can't discuss with my family or people that I know in real life.
2. Do you blog for the sake of the B? Do you blog for yourself as a sanity-seeking form of online diary that is really neat cause it can link to all kinds of other things on the fancy Interweb? Yes, I think. I blog for my own personal release, but not to keep a diary. I blog for the interaction of friends and the wide array of topics and things to learn on the web. Like coding. ;D
3. Do you blog to discover people with whom you share a number of opinions about a topic? Yes. Generally I only read the blogs and link to people that share similar opinions, values, and such that I do. Or at least in one main way. But there is much diversity in my blogroll too. I suspect that some of my linkees wouldn't necessarily read some of my other linkees blogs. Much like real life friends.
4. Do you blog to attract readers? And, do you have an expectation of what sort of readers you have? Would you still blog if nobody read your blog? I try to write in an entertaining way. I don't care what they think of me. If they don't like my blog then they can move along. Or if they don't like my post but in general like and read my blog, then don't feel the obligation to comment. I do the same thing. As for the last question, it wouldn't be so much that I would stop blogging as I would do more 'shopping' for readers by bloghopping. If there were no other bloggers in the whole world, I wouldn't blog. Like I said earlier the point for me isn't to keep a diary, it is the friends and interaction.
5. Do you blog to distinguish yourself .. because you think blogging is cool and you think it makes you cool(er)? Yes. First, blogging is my thing and mine only. It is a way for me to learn things that I can teach myself. That my husband or relatives aren't necessarily knowledgeable in. Second, because I am making a claim to a little piece of cyber me. Blogging IS cool. It is cool that I learned enough to do it in the first place. It is cool how other blogs look and what they decide to post about. It is cool to be constantly learning so much about everything. It is cool to be a part of something so technologically 'in'.

So, now that I fell like I have repeated myself thoroughly, I want to thank all my friends (you know who you are). Thank you for the friendship and the sanity. You are much cheaper and go down better than Px drugs. :D

There is homework! You can just leave the answers in comments. Why do you blog? What do you think of on-line friends vs real life friends? Does blogging make you cool? Have you ever Googled yourself?

I am dying to know. TTFN

Saturday, March 25, 2006

WooHoo! I think that I am popular.

I have been tagged again. This time by Chelle. Yay, I think that people may just actually be reading this blog.

Accent - Midwestern, I guess. I don't think that I have one, but people from other states say I do. I say things like 'melk' for milk or 'diown' for down.
Booze of choice - It depends on how sloshed I want to get. Your basic drink is Captain and Coke. If I want to feel really good, a margarita. Tequila messes me up. Actually, I think that is how we conceived this baby. Different story...
Chore I hate - Ironning. Dress shirts pile up before I will iron one.
Dog or Cat - Neither right now. But I cannot wait til Mark is old enough to have a dog!
Essential electronics - Laptop with internet. Treadmill.
Favorite perfume(s)/cologne(s) - Angel by Victoria Secret
Gold or Silver? - Gold
Hometown - Born in Milwaukee, WI; teen years in Tomahawk, WI
Insomnia? - Everynight this pregnancy. Doctor put me on Tylenol PM.
Job Title - Stay at Home Mom. Boo-boo Kisser. Dust Bunny Collector.
Kids? - Daniel Zachary, born too early 1-28-04; Marcus, 1 yr; Abbigail on the way
Living Arrangement - 3 bedrrom ranch style house that we own, on .5 acres.
Most admired trait - I don't ever so witty humor?
Number of Sexual Partners - Currently or ever? Um, just one.
Overnight Hospital Stays - 2 stays over 6 nights. One for Daniel. One for Marcus.
Phobia - 1)Snakes 2)Spiders 3)the dark - I never was until I watched "The Excorsist" and "The Ring" alone on the same night.
Quote - "Ya know?" or "Whatever,whatever, whatever" or "I don't know". For those of you who read my blog, you may recognize that last one.
Religion - Catholic.
Siblings - 3 Brothers and 3 Sisters
Time I wake up - 5:30 on weekdays; 7 on weekends
Unusual talent/skill - I can fit my fist in my mouth.
Vegetable I refuse to eat - Okra, it is just sick.
Worst habit - Yeah, like I am going to tell you. OK, well, sometimes I will eat food that has hit the floor.
X-rays - What? Is that a question?
Yummy foods I make - Baked chicken. Pork roasts. And most desserts.
Zodiac sign - Cancer

Remember, if you don't like my answers...just blog your own.
Tagees of choice: The Pajama Mama, MammaWannabe, and Mama Bee.

Too tired to post something real. See you Monday.

Bloghopping and Bloggers Anonymous

Good news. Gabriel doesn't have to go on unemployment. Thanks everyone for your well wishes. The company that he works for now will take him back in 2 weeks and for those 2 weeks he will be working at the company that indentured him as an apprentice. He doesn't really like working for them, but the foreman said that he would always have room for Gabriel. That made his day just to know that he had some appretiation from former bosses. And both contractors are in Wausau. So he doesn't have to travel more than 13 minutes to work. The contractor that he is working for on Monday is less than 5 minutes away. It is just down the road. Plus his hours will be 7 - 3:30 so we can sleep in until 6:30!!!

Last night I was blog hopping until 11pm! Yes, I stayed up that late. I found a few blogs that I added to my blogroll. Speaking of that, I changed my links to Bloglines. I was not sure how Bloglines worked so I was a little nervous to try it. But having them tell me which blogs have updated and which haven't will save so much time.

Seeing all the creativity and impressive layouts that some blogs have makes me so jealous. Some blogs are so organized. Until I can figure out coding enough to make my own layout, I am stuck with the one sidebar. I feel like it is so garbled and unorganized. *sigh* I was really impressed with some people's ingenuity though.

Is it just me or do Canadians (or former Canadians ;) make the best bloggers. I think that half of my blogroll is Canadian bloggers. And despite urban legend, not one of them uses the phrase 'eh?' . Not to out shine my South African friends. You guys rock too. ;)

Ok, now this is way out in left field, but I discovered last night that I have developed the pregnant torpedo nipples. The ones that stick out 2 in with a bra on. *sigh* I will just have to be careful not to poke out someone's eye.

Also, I need to join Bloggers Anonymous or something. I have to full blown blogger symptoms. Like my husband will say something and I will think "I am so going to blog about that." (incidentally, he was the one to mention the torpedo nipples.) And while I am trying to fall asleep, I run through what I am going to blog about tomorrow. There has got to be a 12 step program for this because I am in denial. I don't think I have a problem. Although the dreaming about blogging is a tad weird.

Oh, I almost forgot. My husband also thinks that I have OCD, because I CANNOT get into bed without straightening the sheets and blanket. It is true, I have to before I climb in.

I have to get my house in order because my in-laws are coming over tomorrow. I am going to make a beef vegetable soup recipe for a slow cooker. Any ideas for a good side?


Friday, March 24, 2006

Another Long Weekend

* I feel the need for pretext here. Gabriel is a union sheet metal worker. For those of you unfamilliar to the union, it means that he works for the union, not a spesific employer. When an employer needs workers he hires off the unions unemployed listing in order. When an employer lets you go because work is slow, you go on the unemployed list. In this way all union employees are garrenteed a job. Gabriel really likes the contractor he is working for now. And they really like him. Most sheet metal contractors treat their employees like shit. But he gets respect here. *

Well Gabriel has today off again. The job that he has been working on was behind originally. So they brought more guys in and worked longer hours. Now they are caught up and are dwiddling their thumbs until the other contractors are caught up. Gabriel said that he probably won't be going back to this jobsite, so hopefully they will need him in the shop on Monday. Or else we go on unemployment and wait. Oh, I hate that. Gabriel is a doer. He cannot relax and treat it like a vacation. He gets so itchy sitting at home even if he is busy. It drives me nuts. Being on an unemployment check is stressful too. It pretty much cuts our weekly income in half. We are already tight. Bills, bills, bills...

Mark was such a good helper yesterday for shopping. He didn't get cranky or whiny. He did as he was told. He just sat in the cart and examined things like carrots, rice, tomatoe soup, and mac and cheese. He was so happy that daddy was home yesterday. He played games with the both of us. He is so cute. He has figured out how to start games. Like hide and seek or peekaboo or chase and tickle. He taunts us until we tickle him. Silly boy. Right now he is dancing to a commercial that has In-a-godda-da-vidda playing.

Playing with the HTML worked better yesterday. I used inline CSS whic confused me much less than an embedded style. I was getting stuff to show on IE. It was so exciting. The only thing is when I closed everything down, Notepad reverted back to it's first save. It is no big deal because it was just practice. But I am sure what happened.

I have started a new book last night. "Little Earthquakes" by Jennifer Weiner. I am on page 100 so far. It follows 3 women's journey through new motherhood.


Thursday, March 23, 2006


Abbigail is a scwiggle bug. She cat naps and is practicing Tei Bo the rest of the time. She has the hiccups at least 10 times a day. If it is any indication of what she will be like after she's born, I will have my hands full. But the little stinker holds still when daddy comes over to feel. As soon as Gabriel puts his hand on my belly, she holds still as a mouse!

I failed misserably at trying to create a template yesterday. I just got a headache from going round and round with the CSS. The HTML I understand. But the CSS is like the chicken and the egg. Which do I put in first? I decided to take tinier baby steps and just try to make something that will show up in IE. :P

Also I am tired of no smileys in Blogger. I need to download something to get some. (There is a link for some on Blogger's how-to page.) This is the year 2006. :P just won't cut it. I also need to figure out where to put code for my I-am-this-pregnant graphic. It doesn't fit in my sidebar. It will just cause the sidebar to start below the posts.

Mark is up already. WHY?? Don't you know that it isn't neccessary to get up at the crack of dawn? He should be happy today. We are going shopping. It is his favorite day of the week. What can I say? The boy loves shopping. Plus he gets a balloon from Trig's. The first thing he says when we get inside the door is "Boons! Boons!". He also says "Woof" all the time now. It used to mean doggie (doggies go 'woof, woof'). Then it meant anything with fur. As we were going through the resale shop last week, he found a stuffed bunny twice his size. He ran over and cried "Woof!", kissed it, and carried it arround the store. But now even the birds outside in the feeder are "Woof!". He says it randomly all day long. I just figured out yesterday that it is usually because there was a dog or cat on tv. He really loves dogs. Anytime he sees a dog, he gets so excited. I cannot wait until he is old enough to get a dog. See, I am not really a dog person. So if we get one I am not going to be the one to always feed it and walk it and clean up after it. Those are my only conditions.

I am making Cordon Blue from a recipe from Nicole today. Wow, this is truely random stuff today. I better get the day started. Just 5 more minutes, please! TTFN

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Misc things about yesterday

Yesterday was spent taking it easy after my day of hard work in the basement. I have been having hard uncomfortable contractions for the past 4 or 5 days, but didn't pay a whole lot of attention because you are supposed to have some off and on. But yesterday I was starting to worry because when I lost Daniel, for about 3 days before I was having irregular cramps and contractions and dismissed them. This time I wasn't having pain or cramps, just strong contractions. So I called the phone nurse. We came to the conclusion that they aren't worrysome unless they are regular in timing or I am having more than 2 or 3 an hour. Or I have pain, cramping, spotting, ect. She decided that my utrerus was unhappy and rebelling because I was probably dehydrated, and was I drinking enough? Ha! No, I don't drink enough water. I know it. But also I have been on Benadryll for the past week. Could that have anything to do with it? Probably. BTW, I am feeling better and off the Benadryll. At least until we see what Mother Nature sends me with allergies.

Mark is such a cutie pie. I have been trying to call him that instead of my baby boy or my baby. Since there will be a new baby soon and I don't want to confuse him.

Does he look like a girl? Everytime we go out, everyone compliments me on what a beautiful girl I have and pretty she is. How do I come back from that? I really don't have a personal relationship with the cashier at Target so I am not going to get into a 5 minute polite discussion on correcting her. But it is not just once or twice. EVERYONE does it. I know his hair is getting long, but it isn't that long. And I dress him in boys clothes. It's not like he goes out in pink tutus. What do I say to these people? Do I say anything or just leave it?

I think I am ready to try to start typing up my own template code. I have a downloaded graphics program to make personalized headers and things also. It is coming slowly but surely. The HTML is pretty straight forward, but the CSS is a little comfusing. I have been going over the same tutorials again and again, but I think the only way to learn now is hands on and see if what I write works. If you use a graphics program (like hint, hint, Chelle), what program do you use? I have Photoplus by Serif. Is that any good? Is there something better, or at least for free?


Tuesday, March 21, 2006

I've Been Tagged

The Pajama Mama tagged me! I feel so honored.

The rules:
List seven songs you’re into right now. No matter the genre, whether [or not] they have words, or even if they’re any good, they must be songs you’re really enjoying right now. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs, then tag seven other people to see what they’re listening to.

2 AM - Anna Nalick
Breathe - Faith Hill
Holy Water - Big and Rich
Stupid Girl - Pink
God is a DJ - Pink
Breakaway - Kelly Clarkson
Rich Girl - Gwen Steffani

Seven people to tag (it was a little difficult to find seven people that I think read my blog on at least a semi-weekly average. My first choice was Chelle, but Pajama Mama already got her.):

Liea's Mom
Super Mom
Mama Bee

Go for it!

I spent most of yesterday cleaning up the basement.

I came no where near finishing but then again, I didn't expect to. Basically I am rearranging our 'stuff'. You know, the things that you need or want to keep , but don't have a home. I am trying to reorganize all our storage. I swear as I was going through boxes in the basement, I found 6 boxes labeled 'STUFF'. LOL, they were my husbands misc things from before I ever moved in with him. I had never seen this stuff before! I found things like kite string, earplugs (used, WHY?!?! ), broken pieces to a wristwatch that still worked, a playbook for a part he played in middle school, several tubes of lipchap, a yoyo, a hockey puck, a boomerang, silly putty, a slinky, sharpie markers, more string, 2 alarm clocks (1 that worked), shoe laces, misc screws, misc nuts and blots, an obsolete CB radio, and quite a few flashlights. Out of the 6 boxes what I didn't throw out or put away where it belonged, there were 10 items!

The topic of yesterday's post was marinating on me all day. And finally at 9 pm I had one clear, consisive, coherent, obvious thought. I have been trying to figure out how many kids I want and if we want to stop after Abbigail. I have been going about this backwards. The only reason at this point in time that I want to surgerically do something about BC is for a medical necessity. And I know that after Abbigail I need a break. I do not want to get pregnant or try again until Abbigail is at least 2. So there is no decision to make for at least 2 1/2 - 3 years! That certainly brings clarity to things. See, all better. (BTW, all of this was OUR agreement, not just my thoughts.)

Oh, and some have asked if adoption was an option. If I couldn't have anymore kids after Abbigail or if something happened to her, I would most likely want another baby. For me adoption is totally an option and I would have no problem adopting a baby of another race or culture. It wouldn't make a difference to me. My husband said that he wouldn't be so ready to adopt though, for his own private reasons. So I am glad that we don't have to think about adoption right now. :)

Temps are still cold outside. I don't think we are supposed to hit 40 for at least a week. We are about 10 degrees below normal. But at least with all the warm sun and temps getting above freezing, the snow is melting.

Mark helped me in the basement yesterday. He pushed a broom around and around and around. He didn't put it down the whole time we were down there. I closed the curtains in his room, even though they are sheer, and it seems to help him sleep longer. He has been getting up at dawn and the other day I heard him playing in his crib before 6am!

I better try to get things started for the day.

Monday, March 20, 2006

A new question arose

How many kids do we want? We had said at one point 5, a big family. But that was before we knew of my incompetent cervix and narrow hips. And before we had Mark. The question really becomes how many times can my uterus be sliced open like a watermelon safely and healthfully? And what happens if something happens that it has to be removed? How many kids do we really want now that we have had one? Or afford? With Mark they tore my uterus wall and I had major bleeding. I didn't need a transfusion, but I was anemic. If they need to remove stuff for whatever reason this time, most likely they will just put the gas mask on me do what they need to. I am not afraid, but we need to be prepared. If they need to remove my uterus, hypothetically, I would be OK with it. It would take time for me to adjust. At first I would probably be sad, then be relieved that BC was taken care of. But there is a big difference between not having anymore kids and not being able to have anymore kids. At least in my mind. I am in no man's land with this topic. I can't even just, off the top of my head, name how many kids I want. 2, 3, 5, 18. I would be OK with not having anymore after Abbigail, but I don't know that I will want to stop for good after her. This is all so numb in my mind. I am not scared or worried or nervous or anything like that. Nor is this a pending problem, only a possible one. I am not even sure that I am explaining right. It is such an open, broad, unexplored topic. I need time for it to marinade on my mind.

In other news, I am looking forward to our normal schedule today. Gabriel is back to work. I loved having him home, but it was time for him to go. I am so used to my alone free time that I grow restless without it now. It took so long for me to be able to relax and have fun by myself. I used to go nuts when he had to work long shifts or weekends. I really love blogging and learning things (currently HTML and CSS) on the internet. While I should probably be cleaning something. It is my guilty pleasure.

What is your guilty pleasure?

Saturday, March 18, 2006

I finished the valance

Here it is.

I love the bugs and bees. Eventually we will finish this room off as a kids bedroom, so I wanted to make it kidzy (?) but not too boyish or too girly. I have the panals and ties to make yet. I hopefully will have them done this week. I couldn't believe I finished the valance today. It is 264 inches long!!!


I missed you all.

I was going through withdrawal. Blogger couldn't publish my posts. Everytime I tried to republish, an error message would come up saying something was incorrect about a URL for my Archive and that my blog couldn't update. Whatever, I tried for 30 minutes or so playing with it to make sure it wasn't something I did. But whatever I posted was saved but wouldn't show on my site. I just gave up. I figured it was Blogger's fault and that it would clear up eventually. So I very couragously gave up blogging until it was resolved. *shutter*

But it is all good now. Here I am. I know you all missed me. :D

I have been an influence (good or bad I know not yet) on one of my on-line buddies. Right after I moved to blogger (which I love so very much :) ) Ashley followed from Bravenet. Go check out her new blog Scribbles on the Wall and say Yay! Good job! Stephanie said to say hi and bug you!

Random things bouncing in my head:
  • I am in a goofy mood.
  • McDonald's coffee is actually REALLY good. Who would have thought?
  • I bought a bolt of material yesterday and in the process of making curtains for the half-finished-one-day-to-be-a-bedroom room in the basement. Once I am finished with them I will post a pic.
  • Steven is coming over again this weekend. I apparantly by and by 'tattled' that he and Gabriel stayed up until 4 am the other week. So he now has a 11 pm curfue. He had a midnight curfue, but never told us so we never inforced it. I don't feel bad. He should have told us.
  • I wonder what's for dinner?
  • Wenchy got me started on this one. Why do men have nipples?
  • I bought Mark's size 18 mo wardrobe. I got 4 pairs of pants, 2 pairs of shorts, and 7 t-shirts for $27 at Nice As New.
  • I also bought 2 pairs of maternity jeans for me. :) I had 3 pairs from last time, but 2 of them don't fit anymore. They most have shrunk in storage.
  • I also found 2 materinty skirts, so I have somethng to dress up in now.
  • My sister is in school to be a hair dresser and trimmed 5 in off my hair. That is how damaged it was.
  • I am still taking Benadryll, still stuffy and have sinus pressure, still drowsey. I went to bed at 8:30 last night.

Well, that is about all for now. I have to go clean the bathroom *yawn*yay* and do other Saturday chores.


Thursday, March 16, 2006

I am bored

So I decided to find a meme to fill out. After deciding against a handful of them I found at the Meme's List, I went with the questions MommaBee filled out a week ago.

1. If you got to pick celebrity parents to raise you, who would they be? Jane Seymour and Martin Sheen. I know that they aren't together, but this is fantasy isn't it? They both seem to have the respect yet friendliness needed to be good parents.
2. If you never had to worry about money, how would you live your life differently? We wouldn't buy mostly store brands or get all our clothes at rummage sales. Heck, we might even use Tide. I don't think we would buy a different house. We love this one. We would just do a lot of remodeling. We would have broadband, not this stinkin' dial-up. We wouldn't change too drastically, but it would be nice to live in the land without bills. ;)
3. Would you rather be a man or a woman if you came back? Man, I feel like a woman.
4. If you were trapped at one age for the rest of your life, would you rather be 15 or 75? 75. At least when you are 75 you have respect and hopefully admiration. When you are 15 you are the tiny speck on the wall. I remember what high school was like. Please, never again.
5. What do you think would be the worst job for you to have? Anything where I have to sell people things. Not cashier, I mean like the people that stalk you at Best Buy or Yonkers.Or maybe to be in the military. That is so not for me. You got to have so much respect for anyone who willingly wants to do that.
6. If time machines really existed, when would you want to travel to? I don't know if I would.
7. What two things would you change about your body/appearance? I would lose about 30 pre-baby pounds. Yeah, I know everyone wishes they were smaller. And I wish that I had smaller arms. Is that the same thing? Even when I was skinny (well, skinner) as a teenager, I had arms that look like sausages in tank tops.
8. What two things would you change about your partner's body/appearance? I didn't know. I like him the way he is. That is not to say that we are never in disagreement or disgusted by each other. If I didn't like him the way he was, then I wouldn't have married him.
9. What is a disgusting habit that you have? Sometimes, I eat things that have hit the floor. Yes, I know. But my son is by far more gross than me, so I am ok with it.
10. Do you pick your nose in the car? (oops, am I revealing one of my #9's?) I don't think I do.
11. What is your least favorite aspect of adulthood? Being the one that others look to for answers and others expecting that you have them. Oh, yeah, and bills. See #2.
12. If you were to be born into another race or culture, what would you pick? Celtic. I have always wanted to just visit Ireland. I don't know exactly why. I just love the Irish. (hey, I just realized that was just in time for St Patrick's Day. Not intentionally.)

On a separate note, I really, really, really want to learn HTML and CSS better. I have been going through some really good tutorials at Bravenet. I have found out that some of the basic tags I knew are now obsolete. My goal is to be able to make my own templates. I downloaded a graphics program to play with. One step beyond that, my dream is to be able to do some amateur web design and custom blog templates as a home hobby/job. I would love to do that. But, crashing down to reality, I need to be proficient in coding first. Wish me luck.


Why does it feel like Saturday?

Gabriel has the rest of the week off. The job isn't finished, but they are waiting on a shipment of something. So we stayed up late last night and slept in. Mark woke up at 3 am and was whimpering or grunting, but not crying, so I left him. He feel back asleep after a while, but woke me up again at 4:45 am doing the same thing. I decided to go get him and see what was up. He cried when he heard me coming, but he wasn't scared or upset. If anything, he was wide awake and wanted to play. He didn't want to rock, he wanted to jump in my lap. So after I convinced him to cuddle and suck his thumb for awhile, I laid him back down to which he objected. After about 5 minutes of that he went back to sleep. It was like he just decided that it was time to get up.

And then I slept in until 8:45! I was planning on sleeping in but getting Mark up no later than 8. I was afraid that he went down for a nap already. But no. He was laying on his back singing to the ceiling.

I am feeling so tired lately. The head cold is OK as long as I remember to take Benadryll. I had to cut my dose in half, because it was making me too loopy. Yesterday I was so tired and drowsy that I felt like I was swimming, and yet felt so jittery and knotted inside like I had WAY TOO MUCH coffee. I hate that feeling. I would take alcohol over Benadryll anyday. :P

It will be nice to have Gabriel around for a long weekend. We can get caught up on the little projects that have lingered. Like finishing our taxes! We had them ready to mail a month ago already. But as Gabriel was fold them up, he noticed a mistake in the State. So before we send everything out, he wants to double check Federal. But he has been working so much that we haven't gotten to it.

Also Gabriel has spent the last few weekends building me these shelves, so I can unpack 'storage' stuff in the basement. Mainly books, but we also have baby stuff and other clutter. They are really big and sturdy. I will have to get pics up to show you. We want to see if Steven, BIL, wants to come over Saturday and help rearrange furniture and level the bookshelves.

OK, I have pretty much just wrote about boring stuff today. Hopefully better stuff later. :) TTFN

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

It's a WHAT?!?!

It's a girl! A girl... Where did that come from? Orginally I wanted a girl, but to avoid to disappointment of last time I convinced myself that it was a boy. And then I got excited about a boy. We were going to name him Alexander and since he and Mark would be less than 18 monthes apart they would be best buddies. I pictured the 2 boys playing in the sand box. And it's a.......Girl. Even Gabriel said "A girl, how did that happen?" It is amazing how suprising finding out the gender is. You only have 2 options. It not going to be an owl.

The original girl name we picked out was Abbigail Rose,
but I am not so hot about that name currently. I mentioned
that to Gabriel, and he just pouted "but I love that name. We agreed. You can't change it now." I don't know yet.

Everything is fine. The placenta is high. My vitals are good. The baby's organs are good. She has all 4 heart chambers. Good blood flow, all that stuff. She was being a bugger though. She was laying on her belly and wouldn't roll over, so we had a hard time seeing some things. The lady checked 3 times though and said that it definitly was a girl.

It turns out that I have a stomach flu or something like that. I feel like my spring allergies have kicked in already. My eyes and sinuses are swollen, I am blowing my nose a million times aday, and my head feels twice the size it should be. So the Dr told me I could take Benadryll. I am drowsy and high off the meds.

This will brighten your day. I saw your typical older man about 80 yrs or so climb into his truck just as I was leaving the parking lot. He had a bumper sticker on his tailgate that said 'Rock 'n Roll Forever'. That is pretty cool.


Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Ultrasound today

I am sick. I woke up with a post-nasaly thing and my eyes feel like they are going to bug out of their sockets. Today is better, though. Heck, even yesterday got better after food stayed down. We got a blizzard like spring storm. After the rain/ice stopped falling, we got about 4 inches of snow that turned to slush on the ground. Oh yeah, and then it froze solid. Yay, spring!

Today we are going in for our second ultrasound. I am excited. We should be able to sex to baby today! Provided that he co-operates. I suddenly feel a little jittery too. For Mark we weren't going to find out. I had my heart set on a girl. I KNEW it was a girl. And then we found out that it was a boy. It was quite a shock to my system. It took a couple of weeks to get used to the idea. But then I was so excited about a boy. Now, I am not sure what it is. But I really want it to be another boy. I will let you know.

My uterus is up into my ribs already but they still want me to flood myself with water and not pee beforehand. I hate that. One ultrasound, I was in tears because I was so afraid that if I laid down I would pee.

Gabriel is getting off of work at noon today, so we can run down to the clinic. We also have about a zillion other errands to run. I just discovered that my local library has their catolog on-line. I usually request items and just pick them up. It saves so much time. And now I can request them from my home. I love the library.

To get my attention Mark has started to pat my arm and say, "ma" and sometimes "mum". :)


Monday, March 13, 2006

My really crappy day

Yesterday went better, actually, after my rant. Mark took a nap that lasted almost 4 hours! Then he was pretty happy until bedtime. I had a lazy day and did nothing. Really not a bad day.

But last night, about 2 hours after dinner, I kept puked my guts out. I couldn't even keep water down. My belly is still sore this morning from the heaving. I am 4 lbs lighter. I had some water and a rice cake early this morning, which eventually decided to stay down. At 9am I had a craving for Fruity Pebbles and had a bowl of them. They seem to be staying down OK so far. I am not sure if I want to hit the treadmill or not. I don't want to get off my schedule, but I also don't want to puke. I kind of feel like I have a head cold too.

It is a crappy day outside too, which never helps my attitude. After spring is finally coming, we had a sleet/snow/ice storm that howled and blew all night. It is dark even now and ice keeps pelting the windows. It is cold from the wind. There is no visiblity. It is just bleak.

Before breakfast, as I am trying to watch the local weather through my swollen eyes, Mark comes up to me and hands me a coupon. I look over and he had my wallet emptied and scattered acroos the floor. I have no idea how he reached it. But there are easily 100 to 150 coupons in my wallet that were at one time sorted and organized. At least he didn't pull out the plastic cards! Or eat anything. It is all still in a pile on the table. I don't want to put it away. I don't want to clean the kitchen and do the dishes. I don't want to do the laundry. I don't want to let out the neighbors stupid dog while they are in stupid Florida.

I'm sorry that I am so bitchy. I have been having very the-world-is-all-dark-and-full-of-crap posts lately and I am sorry. I don't want people to get tired of me, I have just not been in a very happy place the past couple of days. Maybe I am getting a cold or the stomac flu. Who knows. Can you get PMS while you are pregnant?


Sunday, March 12, 2006

There is WAY too much drama in my house

Seriously. First, there is something wrong with my ISP dial-up program within my computer. It keeps having an error or connecting only to drop me literally 2 minutes later. Also, our phone lines have been giving us grief. Again. They probably should just be replaced, but you know...cha ching. Whenever there is a storm with a lot of wind some wire gets wiggled somewhere and we have no dial tone. No phone period. So Gabriel went outside to fix it again. It is working today. Yesterday I tried from 10 AM to 3 PM to dial-up with no luck to actually stay on the internet!

Second, Mark is teething unlike anything we have gone through before. He has 4, yes count 'em 4, molars coming through. The 2 on the top broke a bout 2 weeks ago or so. But they still have only a little eye tooth shape exposed. The 2 on the bottom haven't erupted yet, but I can see them just under the surface. His gums are so sore, he doesn't even want to me to brush his teeth. He is SO whiny and SO cranky. He acts distracted and is constantly falling down or running into stuff which makes him cry more. He wants what he wants when he wants it. And that usually means picking him up. Apart from trying to teach him to do more himself, I just can't pick him up. It hurts my back and I have things to get done and I am just not supposed to pick him up so often anyway because of the cerclage. He has started throwing fits again. He hasn't done that in many monthes. It took little to break him of it last time. But now. He gets mad that I won't pick him up and cry and whine and act like it is impossible to walk the 5 feet to come to me. I have been very lenient so far because I know he is in pain. But yesterday he had two fits where I had to put him in his playpen to cry it out. I was still weakened and got him out before he completely calmed down. He was so worked up. I don' know what to do. He is already on Tylenol. And this is going to go on forever if the 2 top haven't even finished breaking through yet. I am losing my cool. All the drama just wears me down.

We did have fun yesterday. All the snow is melting and the ground is thawing. Spring is on it's way. We actually had temps in the 50's the past few days. So yesterday was beautiful. We bundled up Mark and let him run arround outside. Or at least on the driveway. He has only played outside once so far and that was in the snow. (I am not counting carrying him around as an infant last year.) OMG, he loved it. After the first few times he fell down and got muddy I just let him go. He splashed in the puddles and 'helped' daddy out in the garage. I brought him out thinking he wouldn't last more than 5 minutes because he was ready for a nap. But he played for over a half hour. When we brought him in he was muddy and soaking wet from the knees down. What a little boy.

You all were so nice with welcoming me to blogspot.
Y asked what made me move here. Well, I was happy with bravenet. They are perfect for a newbie or someone who does know any HTML, and I would readily recommend them. But they don't have many options to add any HTML if you wanted. And they only allow you to add 25 links, which I was outgrowing. I just wanted more freedom to alter the HTML how I wanted. And I felt ready to learn more tags and such. Blogspot seemed like a good choice seeing as how popular they are and how many really talented sites there are out there.
Chelle thanks for the heads up. I went and corrected my URL redirect at my old journal.


Friday, March 10, 2006

Let's Celebrate

OK. So my posts the past few days have been pretty shabby. I have been rather preoccupied with creating my Blogger account, finding a decent template, and figuring out the tags and coding. I think I did pretty well. I haven't figured out a way to upload my archives from Bravenet, and I don't think that I will be able to. So I just copied my last handfull of posts here. Please let me know if I over looked something or if something doesn't look right. I am so thrilled to be free...."I'm free. I'm free. I'm free at last!" So long Bravenet, you have served me well. But I ain't looking back!

The truth about kids

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"
"Don't what?" Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
“Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve… we have forbidden fruit!!!!!”
"No Way!"
"Yes way!"
"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was angry! "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.
"Uh huh," Adam replied.
“Then why did you?” said the Father
"I don't know," said Eve.
"She started it!" Adam said.
“Did not!”
"Did too!"
Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.
If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think that it would be a piece of cake for you?
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT! 1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
6. We childproofed our ! homes, but they are still getting in.
ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.


Get over it


Regardless of age, of race, or of gender,
If you're tall or short, if you're plump or slender.
If you're hot or you're not, if you're straight, gay, or bi-,
This holiday is for YOU, and we'll now tell you why...

NOBODY is happy, EVERY day of their life.
Not an American Idol, not a Desperate Housewife.
Not MVP athletes, not Oscar-winning stars.
Not rich CEOs, not hot chicks at bars.

We ALL have our issues; ALL lives contain stress.
At some point, we're ALL, an emotional mess.
Ex-boyfriends, ex-girlfriends, ex-husbands, ex-wives.
There are people to get over in EVERYONE'S lives...

But as much as things suck, as bad as they get.
If you got cheated on, if you're swimming in debt.
If you're aging or balding or get a cold sore,
Don't ever forget, that it could ALWAYS suck more!

It's all part of life; it will help you grow stronger.
But this "pity party" of yours can't last any longer.
You can sit home alone, being sad and depressed,
Or you can choose to be strong, and do as we suggest...

March 9th is the day, to finally say:
"Move on! It's done! It's Get Over It Day!"

Poem written by Jeff G., "Get Over It Day" Founder & Creator

I love being a mommy. I look forward to getting Mark out of bed in the morning, just to see him so excited to see me. I wouldn't give him up to be childless for anything. However....My thing is, I just have a hard time, because I am a mommy, that my life and body have changed. I can't do things that I did when we were childless, like just go out for dinner or sleep in or stay up until 3 am watching tv. Even if I do lose my baby weight plus some (and I plan to!), I probably will never be a size 8 again. And if I was a size 8, I can never wear a bikini in public again. My belly has stretch marks, I now am the owner of a pooch, my breasts haven't been mine for over 2 years, I am a slave to my baby's nap schedule, and my biggest thrill of the week is to go grocery shopping on Wednesdays.

In alot of ways I have gotten over this. I have mentally accepted this pregnancy and look forward to our new little guy. I am a mommy and I get that. I love taking Mark places, like the library, that he loves to visit and explore. I love watching him learning new things and finding pride in his abilities. This is my life and just because I once wanted something completely different doesn't mean that I don't love life now. Blogging has helped so much. Letting things go, saying what I really want, and sociallizing with other adults has been SO good for me. I used to be so stressed out. I couldn't sleep. My back was so tense that it hurt. But things are better now. THANK YOU TO ALL MY BLOGGING FRIENDS FOR BEING SUCH A BIG HELP! I've let it go.

So what do you have to let go?

Weekly Groceries

Today Mark and I did our weekly grocery shopping. Mark was actually very good. Except for when he grabbed a jar of baby food and threw it over the side of the cart. I almost lost it right there. Instead I held my breath and did the pregnant belly shuffle as I bent down to pick it up. At least it didn't break. I can't keep him from reaching stuff in the cart. I don't know how he reaches it but he does. He doesn't crawl out of his seat. And I enforce the sit-on-your-butt rule. I did lose it a few weeks ago when Mark started scattering strawberries that I was in the process of paying for.

One of the stores hands out balloons weighted with suckers. Mark knows that when we go there it means a balloon. I have learned my lesson and cut the sucker off right away. It doesn't matter if I tie it out of sight, he knows it is there and finds it. Balloon is one of the words that he knows to mean a certain thing and actually says. It comes out Booo or Booons. Today we walked in and he said, "Booons! Booons!"

My husband doesn't know how good he has it. Well maybe he does know, but he still has it good. I get up with him, make his lunch and coffee, gather his stuff for work, and make sure he leaves on time every morning. I had been just going back to bed after he leaves, but now I decided to just stay up and go on-line right away. Now that I am getting over the overtired part of pregnancy (finally) I am more allert in the mornings. This means I now am out of bed by 5:30 AM. Gabriel leaves for work at 6. Mark is up sometime after 7, unless it is a clear and sunny morning, then he is up at sunrise. Before I would go back to bed at 6, not fall asleep for awhile and force myself out of bed at 8 - 8:30 because I feel guilty for making Mark stay in bed. However sometimes Gabriel works 10 hour shifts and leaves at 5 AM. Then I go back to bed. I am sorry, but I am not getting up for the day at 4:30!

Does anyone have any HTML tips or ideas for me? I am dabbling in designing a new blog at blogspot, but I want to make sure I can handle the amount of coding I want to do before I decide to move. I know some tags, but mostly just I have just copied and pasted stuff. If I can get this to work, I will be so happy with more freedom. However if it is going to be way over my head, I might as well stay here.

Oooo. I almost forgot. I set up my on-line shoe closet. See it here. The layout isn't very good yet. But as I expand the collection, I hope to get more pages and make it look nicer. Shoe of the day:

Update on Fears

The doctor said everything was fine. After poking and proding arround in there (Don't you hate that?! I could go the rest of my life without another pap smear.) he said that the cervix is closed and the cerclage is in place yet. I think he did the test for amniotic fliud, but he said that my waters weren't leaking. And the baby sounded fine and my vitals were good.
But poor Mark. He normally LOVES going to the doctor, whether or not it is his appointment. He loves the doctors and playing with those beaded tabletops and exploring the exam rooms. But he did not want me to put him down this time. He finally agreed to stop clinging my neck once the nurse left so I could undress. But once I was up on the table and the doctor came in, Mark started crying and quivering. The nurse just scooped him up and left the room, which made things worse. I couldn't concentrate because I could hear him crying for me down the hall. Once the doctor was finished, the nurse brought him back in and he just clung to me. As most 1yr olds are, he does not like to stay still especially in my lap. But he just wanted to hug me.
I was soooooooooo nervous about this visit, and I was so happy that everything was OK. So as we were leaving I stopped at the coffee shop on the first floor of the clinic for a treat. I got a milky way mocha supposedly flavored with vanilla and carmel. I used to die for coffee house coffee. I haven't had any in literaly years. It was so much stronger than I remembered it. Gabriel would die if he found out that I paid almost $4 for a cup of coffee. We won't tell him!
Last night I gave Mark a bath. He loves bathes. He just figured out how to vigorously splash. So I sat on the floor next to the tub reading Parents magazine while he played for a bit. I look up to find him drinking the bath water by the cupful from his rinse cup. He can't drink juice or milk from a cup without choking or spilling. But he can guzzle down bath water. What a kid! After I got him cleaned and dressed, I gave him his first haircut. I did trim his bangs once before but just a few wisps that were in his face. This time I retrimmed his bangs and had to trim arround his ears because he was looking like the shaggy dog. I got a few locks about an inch and a half long to put away in his baby book.


I want to get a post in quick this morning. I have the run into the clinic. I called in yesterday with a question about well, um, for lack of a better word...discharge. So they want me to come in because they are concerned that my waters may be leaking. I am pretty sure that they aren't, but I am afraid of what will happen if they are. Daniel was born at 19 weeks, when I am now, but miscarriage isn't really entering as a problem currently. I mostly afraid of bedrest. I could survive bedrest with books, tv, and the internet. But I am a SAHM all alone all day. With a 13 month old baby. There is no way that I could watch Mark and keep him in line from a couch. My MIL who I adore lives 20 minutes north of here so she isn't readily available daily. We can't afford day care even if that was an option. There aren't to many friends or family that I am comfortable 'living with' to take care of him. His babysitter does a small day care from her home, so maybe that is an option. Althought it would just break my heart to be away from him. I can't even think about it. I'll start crying. I shouldn't get ahaed of myself here, though. I won't know anything until after this morning's appointment. I will post again after I find out what they have to say.

Everyone needs a little indulgence

Sunday we spent the whole day at Gabriel's parents. Mark loves it up there. All the 'new' things to explore that he sees once every other Sunday. He spent the first 20 minutes just openning and closing the kitchen cabinetes. Grandma made an apple crisp and let Mark help. After every dry ingredient added (flour, sugar, oatmeal, ect) she let him feel it and taste it. So he would wait paitently to put his little pointer finger in, stir it arround a little, and pop it in his mouth. The cinnamon was interesting. After the topping went on and the dessert went into the oven, Mark licked off the spoon. He has never done anything like that before, but sure got the hang of it quick. When the spoon was clean, he grabbed the mixing bowl and stirred in it with the spoon like Grandma. * * He is so cute. Also, he got to play on the piano, one of his favorite things.

We didn't get home until just before 7, so I missed the red carpet bit at the Oscars. That is the best part. I haven't watched the award ceremony yet either. I taped it and plan to watch it today as I do some chores. That way I can fast forward through all the borring stuff.

I have decided to admitt to the side of me that loves shoes. It seems like such a cliche. We are a working middle-class family with the morgage and medical bills, yodda yodda. Not that I am complaining. We live a very happy life. But part of me lives in this fantasy world where we are upper-class or better yet multi-millionares, you know after we win the lottery. And if we need or want something we go and buy it without a second thought. Want a manicure...done. Want to go clothes shopping with the girls...done. Want to remodel the kitchen...done. Want a new car...done. When we win the lottery, we have already decided on 3 things. A dishwasher. A newly remodeled bathroom with a HUGE whirlpool tub. And a 150 Gallon in-wall fishtank so I can start the salt water tank I have always wanted. Of course, it helps to buys tickets to win. Maybe once every month or two, I pick one up. Only a dollar and a dream...

Anyway, I have decided to indulge my fantasy by starting an on-line shoe closet. Maybe I will eventually move to clothes too. But this way, I have an unlimited space and no financial reprocussions. Therepy for the soul.....

Oh and just in case you were wondering what my real shoe collection looks like, I own 5 pairs. 1) A pair of Nike runners that are my everyday shoes 2) one pair of black velvet pumps from Walmart 3) one pair of black strappy sandals with heels from a resale shop 4) one pair of black velvet ankle boots from Payless 5) and one pair of jeweled white strappy sandals with chunky heels that I got at Boston Store and just happen to be my wedding shoes!

So my first pair of fanasty shoes are the Jimmy Choo's in my Oscar outfit. And here is my second pair.


Glitz and Glam

Tomorrow night is the Oscars, and everyone knows that it has nothing to do with awards or honors. It's the outfits, baby. So, typical me, I waited til the last minute to pick out what to wear. Oh, what to wear. First, I have to go with Vera Wang. I mean come on, who does like Vera Wang? This full length evening gown is in ebony satin with a lace trim v-neck and grosgain ribbon straps. The slit front gathers into a pleated front seam with tucks along the waist and also has a fishtail hem. Sleek, sexy, elegant, timeless. Retail value: $600

Then one cannot go out on the red carpet without donning Jimmy Choo's. I had a hard time deciding, sandles or slingbacks. Satin or ribbon or jewels. In the end I went with a pair of 4 in stelleto sandals in black satin adorned with 10 large stones each. Mmm, shoes. Retail value: $650

An outfit is never complete without the ice. And nobody does ice better than Tiffany's, of course. The jewelry is a hard choice. It has to stand out and say 'Hey, everybody check out my bling.' Without out doing the rest of the outfit. So, I went with Tiffany Lace single row drop necklace with 5 carots of round diamonds, 60 4MM cultered pearls set in platinum. Retail value: a mere $25,000

And the earings to match. Also Tiffany Lace with .2 carots of round diamonds, 2 7MM cultured pearls set in platinum. Retail value: $2200

Grand Total

Dress ---------- $600

Shoes ---------- $650

Necklace --- $25,000

Earings ------- $2200

Total ---- $28,450

Seeing my husband get the Mastercard bill. ----- Priceless.

Not a bad get up to watch the Oscars in at home!

This is your brain on drugs

Remember those commercials for anti-drug that showed a guy holding an egg. 'This is your brain.' And then he cracks it into a hot fry pan. 'This is your brain on drugs.' That is how I feel right now. Not high. Just fried.
I have spend the past 6 hours, easily, updating and checking URL's on Daniel's Angel Site. And I mean I checked EVERY STINKIN' LINK! Over 15 pages worth. Including 4 pages of Angel Memorials with 12 Angels on each page. Of course, I am doing this with dial-up and IE keeps locking up because I keep demanding too much bandwidth. I must have restarted at least 10 times. And that means restarting windows, redialing up to the internet, relogging onto Geocities, restarting up Pagebuilder in a java applet with my stupid little dial up modem, and running Pagebuilder and IE side-by-side so that I can check links and change the info at the same time. All to inevitably cause something to lock up before I can finish very much at all. This is my brain on drugs. I finally finished, called it good, to find out that I had less than 2% of my daily bandwidth left for the site! So I guess even if I hadn't finished, I would have been cut off pretty soon. But *YAY* it is done. Except for the e-mail links on each Angel Memorial, but I am willfully ignorant of them currently. Checking them would involve having to send an e-mail to each one to see if the address is current. And then the address is not directly linked so I would have to match them up one-by-one. Urggg. I am done complaining for now. It really needed to be done and I put it off for so long.
Good news. My husband made dinner tonight. All on his own. It was very sweet. I think the last time that he made dinner was when Mark was born and that pretty much invloved frozen pizza and Subway.
I need to fall into bed. Post more tomorrow. Brain shutting down. So help me if IE locks up before this gets posted..........

This is mommy on the laptop. (OK it is a posed picture with a timer. I thought I did a pretty good job.)

This is Marcus on the laptop. (Not a posed picture. He is just so darn cute.)